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mayhem of uncertainty

here you find attached the music playlist i've been listening to these months while creating "mayhem of uncertainty". it's quite long, but you might find something interesting in it!

"mayhem of uncertainty" is a small-format collection that delves into mostly dark thoughts that arise from feeling lost.

being my first EP -that's how I like to call it- i feel the need to share some reflections that have been going through my head these past few months, even though sharing information contradicts my personal struggle to tolerate the not knowing.


where do these feelings come from? maybe the simple fact of being a rational animal makes me overthink everything: who i am, my whys or something as remote as my future. as much as i want to think that we are just another animal and that we simply live to die, my mind ends up slipping away to get two steps ahead. this human curiosity drives and restrains me in the same way, so i feel that learning to manage it will be an unavoidable effort.


at the same time, i feel that this internal struggle, so common and transversal, is rapidly proliferating because of the environment we have to live in. today's ferocious capitalism has made us believe that we have full control of our destiny, that the footprint we leave in the world depends on our effort, on our actions. waving the flag of freedom and personal success we have overloaded ourselves with responsibilities that always lead us to the same conclusion: we haven't done enough.


i don't know if this personal drift arises when the socio-economic reality that surrounds us lashes us with indifference or if, on the other hand, it's generated by our lack of self-knowledge and emotional management.


i guess it comes down to the confluence of everything. i don't know how it's done, but reason always acts as a double-edged sword: it gives you the tools to generate a critique, but it blurs the boundaries of a truth that, unfortunately or fortunately, is unattainable.

not knowing (future in gravity)

are you afraid to live among unanswered doubts? may thoughts in motion serve to keep us alive and not to make us feel helpless and bound.

the everlasting judgement (assaulted by the past)

what would my past self think of me? various obsessions for all that was "lost" -although it never was-.


neo-christian evasion (flagellation and redemption)

i've always found it remarkable how easy it is for humans to take the same tool and use it for opposite purposes.


the chaos of thinking (mental maelstorm)

since when can't opposing thoughts and emotions coexist in the same space? well, how they coexist is another matter.

Caos del pensar (vorágine mental)

surrender as the only way out (checkmate: light it up and start from scratch)

it may seem the only remedy, but it only assured me of one thing: the return to uncertainty.

Rendición como única vía de escape

i would love to thank many artists who inspired me and teached me these months, but I will try to recapitulate those who have been most present: Rubens, Jason Ebeyer, Guillermo García Lorca, Franz Marc, Remedios Varo, Filip Custic, Rae Klein, Denis Sarazhin, Ignasi Monreal, Zhong Lin or James Jean among others.


may the blessing and condemnation of uncertainty keep us in motion.

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